How to be happy in the darkness

an encouragement

How is it possible that the grey and rainy month of November is responsible for depressions in all parts of the northern hemisphere, except those most Nordic countries that have to live through entire darkness for months?

How is it possible that people in the Nordic countries (Finland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Iceland) are able to survive these months without sunlight? Not even that, they even appear to be the most happy people in the world!

What is their secret? And can we learn something from them?

According to World Happiness Report multiple aspects work together, like the trust in governmental institutions and the welfare-state model, personal freedom and their mindset.

Other studies show that the Nordic countries constitute “the leading example of successful modernization, maximizing prosperity, social solidarity, and political and personal freedom.” (Inglehart 2010, pp. 384–385).

But the most important and consistent factor seems to be their collective mindset. A mindset of trust. A collective decision to trust.

Professor John F. Helliwell (Editor of World Happiness Report): “Where they [the Nordics] are really top on, is in trust and benevolence, both within their official institutions and their private behaviour.”

But again, the scientists link this trust to a form of socialism; low inequality and trust in the government. I disagree, as lots of countries in the world fulfill these elements and their people are far from happy.

So, putting science aside, let’s have a look at what makes Nordic people special. Let’s look at their life style, something that makes them unique.

The Swedish have a concept called lagom, meaning: “just the right amount” and it shapes everything from work habits to home design. Just think IKEA and you know exactly what is meant…

Lagom isn’t about deprivation. It’s about balance and finding contentment in what you already have.

In Nordic cultures, people don’t feel pressure to prove themselves through excess, whether through wealth, luxury, or productivity. They’ve rejected the idea that you need to constantly optimize, upgrade, and accumulate.

The Danish have a concept of hygge, which captures something we’ve all felt but rarely name: a sense of contentment and wellbeing associated with coziness, warmth, and simple pleasures.

It’s not about expensive experiences or Instagram-worthy moments. It’s about lighting a candle, wearing comfortable clothes, and actually being present with the people around you.

Hygge is about creating a comfortable atmosphere and enjoying life’s little joys with good company. The moment of sunset is a moment of Hygge. The Scandinavians use that moment for story telling or just ‘being’.

Jantelagen, or the Law of Jante, is code of conduct originating in fiction(!). It embodies the belief that no one is better than anyone else. Maybe this belief comes naturally when you experience the extreme laws of nature in this isolated part of the world.

This belief rationalizes and sets things into perspective. For our modern society it can mean that the ‘rat-race’ loses its value/importance. People can look from a relative distance to the ego-show of our world and deny that. So let’s call it the world of ‘less ego’, less comparing yourself to ‘the standard’, less proving your worth.

Like all the others, this ‘law’ will be practiced more in the backlands, than the big cities.

In Nordic countries, there’s strong emphasis on work-life balance, with the standard working week capped at 40 hours and respect for boundaries between work and personal time. This means that when you finish your workday, you’re actually done. No emails after hours. No expectation that you’ll be “on” at all times.

Furthermore parents in Sweden are entitled to 480 days of paid parental leave per child.

Where does this leave the Nordic people? They don’t have to feel divided by work and family. There is time for both. Family values are very important. All holidays are celebrated with family. The ‘outside’ world is less important and their time is spend with the people they care about most.

High levels of trust between citizens, leading to social cohesion, is one of the leading contributions to Nordic happiness.

Trust isn’t just a feeling in these countries. It’s built into how society functions. High taxes are seen as an investment in the collective good, creating universal healthcare, education, and social safety nets that reduce existential insecurity.

When you know that losing your job won’t mean losing everything, you operate from a different emotional baseline.

This extends to everyday interactions too. In Denmark, toddlers are left sleeping in prams outside coffee shops while parents are inside, and unmanned flower stands operate on trust with just a sign saying to leave payment.

That level of social trust changes everything.

Fika is a Swedish tradition of taking a designated break for coffee and something sweet, typically enjoyed in a social setting rather than at your desk alone.

It’s not just a coffee break. Fika is a ritual that refreshes the brain and strengthens relationships, with many Swedish workplaces institutionalizing fika breaks into the daily schedule.

At many workplaces, fika happens at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m., with everyone gathering together for 10 to 30 minutes. You’re expected to stop working and join. To connect face-to-face, not scrolling your phone. Leaving the world behind for a while and feel human again.

Friluftsliv is a Norwegian philosophy about a simple life in nature without destroying or disturbing it. It’s less about conquering mountains and more about existing peacefully outdoors.

It’s not performance. It’s not tracked on an app. It’s just being present in the natural world. Even five minutes of friluftsliv reconnects you with something larger than yourself.

The principle here is simple: we’re part of nature, not separate from it. Regular contact with the outdoors isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.

Perhaps the most radical Scandinavian principle is that happiness doesn’t have to feel ecstatic; it can be quiet, steady, and unremarkable.

The Finnish word sisu means inner strength and perseverance, the quiet dignity of carrying on even when life is hard.

The Nordic countries embrace a cultural orientation that sets realistic limits to expectations for a good life, encouraging contentment with life’s bare necessities. This is the most ‘Viking’ characteristic of happiness.

The traditions in Nordic Countries are still celebrated in the ancient way. Even young people are serious and dedicated to them. Why? I think these traditions are so connected to the natural cycles, to the rhythms of light and dark, that they are tangible in everyday life.

While the rest of the world needs to decorate their house for Christmas, the Scandinavian people only need to step outside to enjoy the most livid and beautiful Christmas decoration nature can give them.

Scandinavia still has magic. It’s in the colors, it’s in the light. It’s in the seasons and wild nature. They have it all, and they are happy…

Isn’t that something to strive for ourselves in our own country?

I wish you a happy holiday season.

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And what about the weather, the grey and rainy November days? Well, the Nordic people have this to look forward to:

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With love, as always, Cyntha